Comment:
You’ve done a good job of discussing a wide range of features of spoken and text-language. This essay demonstrates that you have a strong appreciation for the unique features of these language forms and that you have the ability to draw your own conclusions for this knowledge – that both make sense and add to the broader discussion.
To develop your work further, you will need to:
- Give specific examples (quotes) to support every point you make
- Refer to actual language features as part of your analysis – you tended to describe the effects without specifically referring to the devices themselves. It would be a lot easier for you as well if you learned and used some of the terms, like abbreviation
- Replace your paragraph headings with topic sentences. Essentially, all you need to do is re-word those headings into sentences. Your writing was clearly organised, but would have read better (more like a developed argument) if you had written “What we mean when we speak is affected by the tone of voice we use…” in place of the title “Tone of Voice”.
React!